From the archive: REFLECTIONS ON ANOTHER YEAR AROUND THE SUN

Written in january 2021

I turned 42 last week. Quietly, Covid styles.

Haven’t the last 11 months offered those of us who are practicing social distancing a quiet time of reflection, healing and deepening into who we really are and what our deepest desires are?

Personally, I experienced the darkest and deepest emotions and moments of my life. From falling in love and riding the waves of deep emotional connection to a betrayal in that love that cut so deep I thought I might die.

That single act of betrayal (and all the mini betrayals that come along with covering up a betrayal) ripped off the bandaid of protection my body had so skillfully applied to all of the relational traumas I’d experienced in my life and brought them forward, one by one, to be healed.

It was... is... monumental healing.

No longer the little girl suffering from terror and seeking refuge in more terror but a woman who has worked incredibly hard at healing for many, many years and now embodies a fullness of self she never knew possible and a reverence for the resilience that allows for comeback after comeback.

Healing our wounds, our past, is a choice. There is absolutely no reason to do it if you’re not called to. But, if you’re called to, it is a journey that requires a deep well of self-compassion and patience.

My healing allows me to deepen my scope of practice for my clients. The work I’ve done never has to be proven, it is enough that it is done but I’m destined to support and serve others in healing, professional relationships and so this healing will reach more than just me.

I continue to deepen my healing every single day through radical acts of self-care, ritual, support from my own practitioners and breath.

There is no destination on this journey, only a fuller sense and acceptance of who I really am.